Hello tribe! And solstice blessings upon us all! We have arrived in the time of bounty, full potency, vitality, might of fire!
My last blog post was in December, about a month after moving back to New York, NY.
I was back with a mission for my time in this city: assess the treasures I acquired on the road, prepare and charge the seeds I was carrying, and then go forth to find a place to plant them in the soil; a place to ground.
Ground my body. Ground my prayers. Ground my work.
For most of my last year and a half on the road, the prayer of my heart keep getting louder, and it was saying “Please find a home. A place to rest, and from where I can quest. A place to return to. A place to have an altar that stays put, an anchor to hold in the center the many extensions of me and my work.”
It said, “If you plant a fruit tree in a pot, it will grow to an extent, will bear green leaves, will be beautiful. But it will not bear fruit. If you want your life, your relationships, your work, your prayers, to flourish, if you want to be blessed with abundant fruit, then you need to take the tree out of the pot and plant it in the earth. Then it can grow without limitation.”
The prayer of the heart cannot be denied. If we are not listening, we don’t realize that the things being moved around and pushed out of our life are actually blessings, are actually the answering of the heart’s prayer. So we must listen, so we can yield and flow with Life, and be blessed with her prosperity.
I was very surprised to find Life’s response to my prayer heading me back to NYC, and a bit afraid. I had been looking westward. But the path eastward was open and clear and so I returned.
“Closer. Much closer,” my heart vibrated.
The prayer was manifesting
But had not fully arrived.
I spent the past 8 months in limbo between “on the road” and “off the road” as I bounced between sublet apartments in New York and took a 5 week adventure in Costa Rica. I was more grounded than I had been in years, but still felt like I was circling, spiraling closer and closer and faster and faster to something, yet still in the air.
Life spoke again: “To open a new chapter, the past needs to be closed.”
The final piece of my past chapter that needed to be closed was my van, Tilly the Beast, Official Tribe of Dreams Earth Rover.
I received Tilly in November of 2011, and began my quest with her December 21, 2011. She became my shelter, my protection, my means, my healing center, my love chamber, my hideaway, my oasis, my home. I had only planned on living in her and being on the road for one year.
We make plans and God laughs.
Four years flew by. And my relationship to that van and to this man that called it home evolved and changed and grew.
What had first felt like a crazy adventure
then felt like normalcy
then felt like the skin of the serpent
needing to be shed.
I always think there is going to be this one moment where everything is one way then the next the whole table has turned in a flash and everything is different.
Sometimes it happens like that.
I’ve had a few of those moments and I am grateful.
But most of life, I find, is slower and more patient a process.
When I returned home from Costa Rica, I was ready to molt the last piece of skin from my past, and I sold Tilly.
Life had guided me yet again, telling me, “Sell the van and it will propel the cascade of change.”
And within a week of selling her, I found a home.
A home with lots of space and lots of light
With a garden
With a woodstove
A huge yard with large metal sculptures in it (the work of my artist neighbor)
Minutes to rivers and forests
Connected to a strong, good community
It is even directly next to a healing center.
I had been looking for an apartment in Brooklyn since returning from CR, and I was feeling so dispassionate. I went for a weekend up by the Catskills to visit with friends and the magic of community worked its miracles: I came back to Brooklyn with a new home secured upstate, which I am now preparing to move into.
I was feeling, and still am as I write this, very much in the vortex of prosperity.
Opportunities for my work began to open up almost immediately after the lease was signed.
Performing at music festivals. Cooking sacred food for retreats. Working with children in nature to restore harmony to Earth. Offering live music for yoga classes. Private sound healing work. Death and grief support work.
Life speaks clearly. And what it is saying now is, “Follow this abundance. Receive this abundance. Trust this abundance. Trust your heart. Trust your work. Trust your soul’s offering. Trust your mind. Trust your body. Take good care of it. Feed it well and right. Be disciplined in movement medicine. Get dirty. Grow food. Grow medicine. Write music from this place, with a prayer that has the chance to be rooted in the Earth. Work from here. Live from here. Love from here. From the center.”
I am yielding.
I move into my new home July 1st!
Back in December, I was in Mexico playing my first music festival and I went to the market one day.
I have always loved visiting markets when traveling. It allows me to really get a taste of a place and a people, to hear the music and smell and taste the food and see the colors and talk to the people. On this particular day, in which I would be performing later that night, I had overlooked my usual low energy and hermit-esque feelings before a big performance. I get very sensitive as my vessel atunes itself to receive so much and offer so much music and vibration, and I feel best when I am still and quiet beforehand.
But here I was in the middle of a Mexican street market, and it was anything but still and quiet. And so I opened myself to receive a different kind of atunement as I walked through the crowded, vibrant, busy streets. And as I did, a though occured to me:
“New York City is a market. All urban centers are, really, and New York is one of the most gigantic, intense, beautiful, abundant markets on Earth. And I want to come to the market, to play, to dance, to talk, to eat, to sell my goods and get the resources I need to acquire. But I don’t want to sleep in the middle of the market. I don’t want to live there. I want to go home afterwards. To an oasis.”
Thank you Creator, Great Spirit, for answering this prayer. I have an oasis, a home, a garden, and I am grateful. I am thrilled to see just how big life can get the more I am grounded. I am over-the-moon about the thought of being excited to come home after my many travels and adventures. I haven’t felt that in 4 1/2 years. I am humbled and say “YES” and “THANK YOU” for all these opportunities and platforms to do work that is from the heart and honest and purposeful and nourishing.
I am close enough to my market to be connected to the flow of energy, and far enough away to be able to let seeds grow.
When I was much younger, Paulo Coehlo, in his story “The Alchemist,” told me that “the Universe is conspiring for you.”
He was right.
May we work WITH the Universe, instead of against, and flow down the rivers of Life with grace.