Friday night, the moon was full in Aquarius.
A full moon is a time of wholeness
of things coming into fruition
It is the time in the full lunar cycle when our bodies hold the most water within them.
As the full moon passes, the energies of release and letting go and flushing out take over.
It is a beautiful opportunity after the full moon to see what her light has illuminated in us.
What new awarenesses have arisen and where has our consciousness expanded?
What from our past or from our depths that has gone unnoticed or undealt with is calling for us to now address?
For me, this full moon shone a very bright light on the healing process I have been undergoing with my body for the past 9 months. It was last October in which I was brought to my knees and shown all the ways I had been endangering myself by not being present in my body. I finally saw that by turning all my attention towards the ‘realms of spirit’, for lack of better vocabulary, I had abandoned the physical reality and my vessel for navigating it: my body, the first temple.
There is a tendency in patriarchal society to revere and cherish “God” or “Spirit,” the masculine expression of the divine, while disregarding, disrespecting, and flat out desecrating the physical world, the feminine expression of the divine. We revere “God” but destroy our Mother Earth. This is a time of finding union between the masculine and feminine, a time of realizing that the sacred reality is made up of two equally sacred realities: spirit and matter. And our most potent way to contribute to this unification and awakening is through our own bodies. That is true sacred alchemy: what we heal and reveal and unify and change in our own minds, hearts, and flesh, is reflected in the larger, seemingly “outer” reality.
This is also the time on this planet of our consciousness continuing to awaken to healing of the waters. The water on this planet is the most precious and magical elixir in all of the universe, the very thing that allows Life to BE at all, and our species is the most dangerous one to her health, and therefore to our own health. Our waters are under siege with toxins and pollutants, and the activism that we are seeing to defend and protect the waters must be supported and rooted in the sacred alchemy we are performing in the waters of our own bodies.
That is what this time in my life is all aboutM. All the time I spent not being present in my own body, I was remaining unaware of the pattern very common to our people that I was participating in and perpetuating: attempting to take care of others without knowing how to first take care of my self, therefore dirtying my own sacred waters with toxicity, much of which was not mine to start with. And without cultivating a practice of how to pass, release, or transmute these negative energies, I have been carrying them on a cellular level. And it is not only the energetic toxicity that I have exposed my organism to. For many years, my diet was full of processed foods and an incredibly high amount of sugar, and I also spent the
better part of 4 years putting marijuana smoke into my lungs almost every day, multiple times a day. And while these behaviors of putting so many excess pollutants into my physical body have changed greatly, the body remembers and retains. The body carries very unaddressed wound, trauma, and toxin. I poisoned my waters. Sometimes knowingly, much of the time unknowingly. But I did. And I gave a lot of my sacred waters away, where it wasn’t cherished and respected. I am grateful to be ceasing these behaviors in the spirit of love and compassion and honor for my being. But that is not enough. It is also necessary to rectify, remedy, and address the damage done. That is the process that began 9 months ago, deepened 5 months ago through yoga on a retreat in Costa Rica, and deepened again through bodywork, including foot reflexology and acupuncture, two weeks ago on retreat in Northern California.
And the process of healing my body and cleansing and restoring my waters is continuing now in these days following the beautiful full, blue moon. I am safe and grounded here at my sister’s home in Cardiff, California, and therefore I have the time and space to do this work, which is mandatory as it can put us in a very vulnerable state. Today begins a 5 day cleansing and detoxing which involves a 3 day watermelon mono-diet, a 2 day reintroduction diet, and coffee enemas (please hold the envy and excitement for that one). For the mono-diet, I will only be eating watermelon and drinking water beginning this morning when I woke up until I go to bed Wednesday night. The concept of a mono-diet is about only putting one food in the organism for a period of time, therefore allowing the digestive system to only need to produce the same specific digestive enzyme(s) required for that food and nothing more, allowing the whole system to rest, reset and regenerate. Watermelon is also a great food for purification, working specifically with the kidneys and the large and small intestine. Thursday and Friday will involve a slow re-integration of other foods, first raw fruits and vegetables, and Friday small amounts of cooked rice and steamed veggies.
As for the coffee enemas, they weren’t as easy a sell for me. I have never had an enema of any kind I am grateful to say, let alone a coffee one, so there was a natural amount of resistance. But coffee enemas have been used by holistic practitioners and naturopaths for a very long time, and a dear friend of mine that was using a blend of Western medicine, naturopathy and homeopathy to heal her breast cancer last fall was administering two coffee enemas to herself each day, swearing by its results. The idea is that these treatments help eliminate parasites and candida in the digestive system while leaving the good gut flora undisturbed. The coffee also absorbs into the intestinal walls and travels via the portal vein right to your liver, stimulating the creation of glutathione, a powerful antioxidant that accelerates the detoxification of toxins in the body. I will be sure to keep you all posted as to my experience, but also be sure not to keep you TOO posted ;).
The last piece of all of this body purification and renewal process I feel compelled to share about is YOGA. I am so unbelievably grateful for the medicine of this practice. I am so grateful for all the lineages that have protected and preserved and expanded this practice for thousands of years. And I am so grateful that it found its way to this continent in this past 100 years or so. It is not just an exercise. It is not just about flexibility. The word yoga comes from the Sanskrit word yuj, which means to yoke, to join, to unite, and that is what it does: it unites the mind, the body, and the spirit. It is a way to find stillness through movement. A way to cultivate steady, present breath no matter what position the body is in, or no matter what circumstances we find ourselves in. It is a way to open the energetic pathways of the body to allow them to flow more freely, therefore allowing us to be our most activated, potent selves. It is a way to integrate all that happens in the spirit into the world of matter, reminding us that our bodies are bridges.
Until March, I had practiced yoga with a class here and there for years, which always felt good in the moment of doing so, but was forgoing the deeper, more transformative results of a regular practice. But to practice daily, or almost daily, is to really get into one’s body. To really see its strengths. To really feel its weaknesses. To find the neglected places. To find the places holding pain. To find the places refusing to open or release. It is incredibly humbling. I continue to have this sensation of coming back into a house I abandoned for years to find dirt, dust, spiderwebs needing clearing, and much refurbishment needed. We are never to old or too sick to begin to heal, but I am feeling particularly grateful to be starting this next level of work at age 29, for my foundation is still strong and not crumbling, and the frame is still sturdy. And yet, there is much work to do. The most humbling piece has been that there is no quick fix. This isn’t about making a few quick changes or working hard for a month or two. This is about deep, sustainable changes to the way I exist in my body, the way I eat, the way I engage in all my relationships. This is about a lifelong commitment to loving myself and caring for my first and most important holy place: this body. This flesh that allows me to experience all the beauty of creation, all the depths and all the peaks of Life.
We want peace on earth. We want love. We want unification. We want a well species, a well community of life, a well planet. We want well waters. We want vibrancy. Alignment. Flow.
Our best contribution to this is through our own bodies. These bodies are our entry point into creation. These bodies are our conduits through which we transform the world.
This is not easy, which is why we are so quick to try to change or condemn the external world. Because that allows us to bypass the work that scares us, because when we look inward, we see the piece of the communal wound and the communal illness that we all carry, every single one of us. We see our piece of the pain, we see our piece of the self-hate and self-abuse. We see our greed and our fear and our anger and our hatred and our shadows. And to do so and not be sucked into a vortex of shame and despair requires strong support from our communities that are also willing to look inward and mirror back worth, value, and compassion.
Thank you, tribe, for being a strong mirror for me every day. Of all of our beauty and all of our ugliness. Not one of us is irredeemable, no matter what deep dark dirty things we have buried deep inside ourselves.
Now is the invitation to open ourselves up.
Find out the truth
that Spirit doesn’t make trash
we are each worthy of this life
we are each worthy of wellness
for and from ourselves
and all beings.