Pain Body

Our pain is stored
and held
within our pain bodies

We each have a pain body
that carries any and all of the pain and wounds and trauma
from all of our past experiences
that we are still attached to
and still identified with

Our pain bodies are also carrying the pain and wounds and trauma
of our ancestors
that was never released or healed
and it is passed down

There is also a collective pain body
of our culture
our species
that holds and carries all the pain that humanity has been attached to and identifying with for thousands of years

All of this pain is unfathomably deep
and when we do not realize that we are not our pain
that we are not our pain body
the hurt is overwhelming
in the thick of it
we confuse ourselves for the experience
and we confuse ourselves for the wave of emotion it elicits

but we are not our pain
and we are not our emotions

when we awaken to our true self
our center
to the source within
we can see the pain body for what it is
and choose to engage with breath and presence and love and dreams
instead of feeding it
and indulging it
and perpetuating it
by wrapping ourselves in the waves of emotions
and feeling sorry for ourselves
because the hurt is so extreme
and because we are lost in the midst of it all

cultivate the mind
when the waves of emotion come
when we are standing within our center
we are able to surf the wave
knowing it is just a wave
and that it will pass

by resisting it
or by identifying with it
we give the emotions
and the pain body
a hook to catch itself on
and it sticks around
and grows
and envelops

return to source
source is within

by coming to the center of our being
and remembering that this is our true self
and that the pain body is all attachment to the past
and that emotions are passing waves
we release our attachment and identification
and we gain true mastery over self
and return to the truly sovereign beings that we were destined to become

this weekend
i was side-swiped by my pain body
and by the collective pain body of humanity
and to feel all of that wounding and grief and sorrow and fear and hurt
was all but unbearable
and thank creator
spirit
source
i did bear it
barely
because i was surrounded by help
that held me
and helped me breath
and helped me remember what lay outside of the pain body
and therefore helped me survive
and in all of that
i understood this suicidal behavior of our species
of our very civilization
because to feel all of that pain
and not know that we are not it
and that it passes when we stop holding on to it
that is truly unbearable
when we are lost in the pain and think that is us
who we are
what we must carry
that is too much for the human heart
and human psyche
to survive

i saw why our brothers and sisters are killing themselves
because to be in the space
to feel all the pain of our past
all the pain of our ancestors past
all the pain of our humanity
and to be in it without the touchstone of the center
the source within that has nothing to do with these pain bodies
that source that is breath and presence and love
without that
we take the illusion of the totality of the pain as reality
and everything shuts down
the body
the mind
the trauma is too great
and the suicidal act is actually the natural impulse
arising involuntarily
in reaction to what is perceived to be an unsurvivable situation

it is by awakening to our true selves
and ceasing to feed these pain bodies
with the food of self-pity
that we become free
it is understandable why self-pity would arise
in the midst of such identification with and attachment to pain
why me? we ask
i can’t do this, we think
this is unbearable, we feel
these thoughts arise out of confusing our selves
with our pain
and when we remember that we are not these pain bodies
and that we are the breathing awareness within
that can observe the pain as it rises and falls
and can observe the emotions as they come and go
we liberate ourselves
and we begin the work of healing our humanity
and carrying on
turning our focus on our dreams
cultivating our clear present mind
nurturing our bodies
and being part of all the concentric circles of communities to which we all belong

community is a human need for survival
for when we are alone
and have separated ourselves from the rest of our people
we do not have any mirrors around
and touchstones
and help
to bring us back to the center
and to the true reality
of freedom
and peace
that is the birthright living within each heart
and without that
we get lost in the maze of our mind
and mistake it all for concrete reality
we forget about the sweetness here
we forget about the vibrancy
without community
we get lost in the haze
and the hive
of artificiality
we lose touch with the sweetness
the freedom
of true clarity

community is available to us
every single one of us
we are born into blood families
which are communities
and we are raised in communities of neighbors or friends or teachers
and we are all a part of the larger community on this planet
the community of life

it is up to each of us to accept the invitation to engaging with the communities that surround us
and it is through this engagement
and this loving giving and receiving
that we return to source
and become free

may all beings be free
may peace reign
in our hearts
and across the planet
for the children

we are all children

aho

***In response to this post, tribe teacher/friend/father/brother/witness/council, Gustavo, offered this further deepening of this conversation…thank you again….

“LIBERATION.. is not freedom as oppose to bondage, it transcends the very concepts of freedom and bondage… in the Light of Ultimate truth, there has never been any illusion, so there is no need to awaken from it… Neither imprisonment nor freedom has ever really existed.. there are many approaches and methods to self liberation which are not imposed upon us by any external authority; tehy correspond to our needs and capacities and develop naturally out of our own points of view and our own attitudes towards the path.. Self Liberation is the spontaneous realization that there has never really been anything else… like a snake unwinding itself, naturally and effortlessly from its tangled knots… there is no need to become free WE ARE.. The plant medicines help us SEE this TRUTH…”

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