Love saves us

Expectations
and attachments
arise in the absence of humility
and in the absence of presence

We allow our minds to project
and create pictures
and ideas
and little movies
of what will come to pass
or what should come to pass
or how things will unfold

Our ego
when not serving as a humble servant to the heart
but instead as a selfish captain of our vessel
believes it is in control
or at least should be able to be in control
which is of course a fallacy
but that doesn’t matter
to a prideful ego

Then when what comes to pass
and unfolds
looks different than the plan we had attached ourselves to
an unhumbled ego flips its shit
either gets angry
at the unfolding itself for disobeying
at the self for failing to succeed in its inhuman task of controlling the universe
or gets full of self-pity
woe is me
life hates me

Or

Our humbled ego
The ego that is integrated into our being
and not disassociated and separate from our bodies hearts and spirits
Our ego that is surrendered in the flow/Tao/unfolding
And is open and clear and ready to work to serve the heart’s guidance
Can engage in what is here
now
in this present moment
and serve as a midwife for what is trying to be born
instead of what we desire or demand to be born
and try to pry from the womb of Life
wholly excluding ourselves from the bounty and abundance that is being offered already

Whatever is happening right now
Is what needs to be happening right now
As evidenced by it happening
That doesn’t mean it feels good or fair or right
But it is the reality of this NOW
And therefore is part of the continuing unfolding of the universe
And everything matters
When we begin to get our true eyes back
And recognize the sacredness of all things
We also begin to remember our own sacredness too
We have a choice
As to whether to resist this now
fight with it
condemn it
ignore it
therefore further pushing ourselves into discord and dissonance with the flow of life
or
accept it
work with it
tend the garden of our lives within it
using the sunshine
and also the shit

in some moments
some experiences
it seems too much
too much to turn to face full on
shoulders squared
hips squared
hands open
heart open
some moments seem like they might kill us if we face the reality of it
but whether we ignore it or not
we are still in the presence of it
and if it didn’t already kill us
that means we are capable of facing it
strong enough to bear

that said

we are only strong enough to bear the raw exquisite searing joyful pain of life
in all of its vibrancy
and intensity
when we have a community
to hold space for us as we do
and to hold space for
to see our journeys reflected
our pains reflected
our struggles or doubts or fears or hopes
and a community with ceremony or ritual of some kind
to help us process our experiences
as well as integrate them into our selves holistically
when we lack this community
the pain is truly too much
it will likely send us into hard to escape dark holes
so we numb ourselves a bit
and our culture is a collection of anesthesias and distractions
calling out to be used
encouraged even
and then we feed our self-hatred for our inability to face the present fully
with our prideful ego telling us
“I should be able to do this differently. Something is wrong with me.”
No.
Something is not wrong with us.
Any of us.
Something is wrong with the environments and conditions and beliefs and lifestyles we are living in
if we are unable to be present well loving compassion creatures
Maybe some humans are less sensitive
and more able to adapt to domesticated life than others
but before we put on suits and got jobs
humans were
and remain
animals in the community of life here on earth
wild animals
not rip-your-face-off-throw-poop-wild
i mean able to live reciprocally on the planet and within the ecosystem while being just as abundantly provided for as all other creatures in creation
that kind of wild
unbound by man-invented notions of societal norms and expectations
but present and engaged in the here and now fully
and to have built a civilization that has required us to domesticate ourselves
to disconnect ourselves from the natural rhythms of the planet
connect us instead with manmade systems of imagined needs and requirements for life
is it a surprise when we are
collectively
as a culture
sick with violence
fear
greed
depression
anxiety
suicide?
these are not societal ills
they are symptoms of the societal ill
the false notion that we as humans
are separate from the natural world
should be able to control the world
the blindness to the sacredness of all things
including ourselves
when combined
results in a way of life that seems to us to be the only way to live but is ultimately bringing the destruction of the external world
and the internal self

Thich Nhat Hanh
Vietnamese Zen monk
recently said that only love would save us from global warming
or any great threat to our planet and existence as a species
When we do not have access to the abundance of love available to us
For our selves
and for others
how could we have the energy or consciousness to love anything or anyone enough to be truly activated and moved to be engaged and influential?

If we do not know we are worthy of life and love
how can we be of service to our own self through self-care and nourishment?
and how can we be of service to our communities?
To be of service, we need to trust our needs are met.
If we do not love our self, our needs are not met.
Selfishness must arise.
Not out of malice
But out of self-preservation
Even though it is not true
the belief that are not worthy
or loved
creates the experience of that as reality
and the self beliefs it is deprived of its needs
and seeks to fulfill and protect it self

To heal our communities
from family and local all the way to the global community of life of which we are all a part
whether we are aware of it or not
we must heal our own relationship with our self
to find the parts of ourselves we’ve hidden away or repressed or abused or ignored
out of shame or fear or guilt or hatred
and drag them out into the light
of awareness
and compassion

and we need help to do it
because trying to do it alone
creates isolation
and distorted perceptions of self go unnoticed
or get further distorted

nothing about us makes us not lovable or worthy
every human being on this planet
is capable of the very best of humanity
as well as the very worst
under certain stimuli and circumstance
That is part of what it means for us to wake up to our interconnectedness
and stop disconnecting ourselves through judgment
and get humble and acknowledge that any and all of us are capable of being Jesus Christ
and all of us are capable of being Adolf Hitler
and everything in between
and when we acknowledge that in ourselves
our light and our shadow
we can actually integrate them
mindfully
and gently
and learn to be true captains of our own vessel
instead of captives of our traumas and wounds and distorted perceptions
and then we can see that maliciously destructive acts
as well as unintentionally destructive acts
to others
or to self
whether performed by us
or others
is an expression of deep pain
desperation
lack of needs being met
lack of access to love
and while this doesn’t exempt us from responsibility for destructive actions
it also doesn’t exempt us from the worthiness of being loved
because we are loved
no matter what we do
really
and if not by another human
which is unlikely
because there are certainly human beings walking this planet with us right now that are capable of loving compassion with all beings
even the seemingly worst
but even if not by another human
by a planet that makes air for us to breathe
and cleans water for us to drink
and hugs us to her through her gravitational force so we don’t drift off into space
and gives us a place to be born
and live
and die
and surrounds us in beauty as she does so
if that’s not love
i don’t know what is

i offer a prayer this morning
after that long ramble
for all of us
for my self
for my brothers and sisters
may we continue our journeys of learning to love our selves
and embrace our light and shadow
and integrate all parts of our selves
and may we have eyes to see
and eyes to hear
and open hands
and open hearts
to experience the sacredness of life
and all parts of it
and our part of it
and may we carry this vibration of love
into our communities
without attachment
or expectation
or plans
of what it will mean
or what it will do

just love
to love
because we can
and that
is the greatest gift
because it is the only thing in this existence
that never dies
and if we can’t seem to love
go find those that seem to know how
because they’re here
we’re here
and it is the birthright
of every one of us
to remember

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