Something Rising from the Rubble

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(*the terms “Taker” and “Leaver” are used in this post.  If you are unfamiliar with these terms and they resonate with you, please, do yourself and me and the community of Life a service and read Daniel Quinn’s book “Ishmael.”)

There has been a deep and unsettling realization unfolding in me lately

Becoming more and more clear

as more and more is falling apart around me

and I have been feeling overwhelmed with the utter breadth of it.

 

The realization is that I am coming to the end of a road here.

 

I am coming to the end of my ability to continue participating in our Taker civilization.

 

I am watching it kill my brothers

my sisters

my self

our Mother

and my discomfort living within it is expanding

and deepening

and becoming more and more inflamed

and just when I want to rip the flesh off my bones

I come to this resolute knowing

that the discomfort

is the transformation agent

the very fires that are propelling me out of this way of life

and yet

they burn

and i am afraid.

I want to become a Leaver

I need to become a Leaver, really,

if I want to survive this life

and live it freely

If I want to raise children

or raise a community

doing so as a Leaver is the only option for me

And yet

I know not how to stop being a Taker

and start being a Leaver

So I am afraid

Not only am I walking away from the way of life I have always known

Not only am I walking away from the way of life that my parents have always known

Not only am I walking away from the way of life that all of my friends and family members have always known

But I am walking away from the way of life that has been being passed down in our civilization for 10,000 years

And I am afraid to leave this shore.

And yet

there are already plenty of people that have crossed the bridge

and walked out of the Taker life

and back into the Leaver life

that are living in accord with the planet 

and the laws of nature

So i know it is possible

And i know the process has already begun unfolding

And i’m just being asked to proceed into the unknown

And trust the teachers

and answers 

will be provided

when I am ready 

and it is right.

I am praying for patience.

Really I have been praying for clarity

but that has been a sign of my impatience

the part of me that is addicted to being comfortable

and that clings to being wrapped in a anesthetizing blanket of imagined security and stability

wants to press fast forward

jump ahead

10

maybe 15 years

to see what it looks like

and exactly how to get there

pick up a guidebook maybe?

because while i know not the form it will take

i know somewhere down the path

i am a Leaver again

and I am not violating nature’s laws

towards my brothers and sisters

towards my self

towards my Mother, Earth.

 

I also know

somewhere in my consciousness

that there is no “down the path”

that it’s all contained within the One 

that the reality I am caught in seeking is already here

within me

 

This is what the Tribe of Dreams is about

It is what it has been about

It is about growing a tribe 

and learning to be Leavers

and live in the community of Life

as grateful

loving

humble

members

and not gods

and not kings.

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