A mouth full of takemeaway

A little person, a woman, sitting on the sidewalk as I walked by today opened her mouth and curled her face into a snarl one would make if they were going to hiss and showed me a mouth full of what appeared to be white pills in the quick glance I got before averting my eyes. I kept walking and was later informed that those were not pills, they were individually wrapped crack rocks and that is how many dealers deal now. If a cop shows up, you swallow them.

That was a new one for me. I come on here often and write inspired by all the miraculous and love-filled people and experiences I encounter in my journeys. I also see a lot of the darkness. It is a requirement. I used to dream of finding a place where there are just wonderful love-filled beings and then realized that, no, that place isn’t imaginary, that place is right here, everywhere, if you adjust your eyes to see , AND, (and its a BIG “AND”), all those beings are also humans and we all have our darkness to walk through as well as our light to shine. And sometimes, the darker places that our head tells us to run from may just need to be seen and brought into the light.

Darkness is only the shadow we ourselves cast.

It is tempting
to look away
hide away
behind gates
fences
high walls
and forms of comfort or wealth or luxury

and yet
just because I don’t look at a wound
does not mean it is not there

our bodies are made up of countless tiny beings, really
little cells and organisms and molecules all with actions to perform
jobs to do
that keep the whole of their larger being
bone or fluid or tissue
well
which work together to keep the whole of the larger being
our body
well

why would it stop there?
we are beings
within a larger body
the species
within a larger body
the community of life on earth
within a larger body
the solar system
within a larger body
the galaxy
within a larger body
the whole freakin’ universe
whatever that could possibly mean

so just because i don’t look at a wound
or have it on my own body
does not mean I am not just as sick
or affected
or responsible

we cannot hide from it
we live in a system
no
not america
america is not the system everyone is talking about
nor is it the man
america is just the favorite child of the system
the civilization
that allows for some of us to sit in our own private palaces
while so many others don’t have water to drink
or food to feed their children

and the pain of living this way
detached from our inherent interconnectivity to one another and the planet
is so great
and so inhuman
and so counter to basic nature
that we
as a people
medicate ourselves
we pin addiction on the “crackheads” on the sidewalks
and the “winos” and “bums”
and the “criminals”
but these are just those of us
without the privilege of the means to hide the sickness
addiction is living in a state in which we are believing that feeling and being fully present in this moment is unbearable and therefore needing to numb the discomfort, seemingly in order to keep going
numb
anesthetize
with crack rocks and heroin
or pills and booze
drugs
television
internet
pornography
sex
exercise
food
etc

mindlessness has many forms

the sickness is not just for the junkies
or the hungry
or the poor
these things are side effects
of the wounds
in the foundation
those without money
may bear the most of the physical symptoms
the worst of the dark and ugly we don’t want to look at
but make no mistake
when a people are sick
no one is unaffected
for the rich are starving too

when i was a kid
i took karate
tang soo do
3 years
loved it for 1
hated it for 2 but didn’t want to tell my parents I wanted to quit so stuck with it
i was embarassed by it
felt too cool
but some of that stuff they pumped in
still reverberates in my skull
or heart
and
heart
sometimes

I got a necklace for Christmas one year
my parents bought it at the karate studio
a link of chain
on a piece of necklace
“we are only as strong as our weakest link.”
that was not to be taken to mean lose the weakest link
or turn on the weakest link

no
we are only as strong
as well
as safe
as secure
as the weakest
or
most vulnerable
or
most burdened by our pain
we are only as strong as that link
so take extra care
to stay with
and strengthen
together
for otherwise
there
is
no
point

why else are we here together?

to heal the world

heal yourself

to awaken the world

awaken yourself

to love the world

love yourself

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