The oracles do guide…

The guidance offered by the universe
is like the oracle
in The Matrix
it doesn’t always tell the truth
but it always tells you what you need to hear
to get you where you need to be
on your path

when i was in Texas
the guidance offered
said go home to New York
told me who my beloved was
told me my beloved was there
and it was time to reunite

none of that was true
not the person
not the place
not the purpose
but
it was also the only thing
that would have moved me
with the swiftness of spirit
and of foot
to get home
to the northeast woodlands
where i needed to be
for so many blessed
and perfect reasons

then the call
that said to head westward
quickly
hurry hurry hurry
against all logic
and reason
for a nomad
that takes his sweet time
my brain could not wrap itself around the thought
of crossing a continent so quickly
almost without stopping
all the people
communities
teachings
learnings
places
that i would seemingly be bypassing

gratitude
for a path
that has taught
and continues to teach
that my head is not a good captain of the ship
but is a wonderful servant to my heart
and my heart is tuned in
to the guidance system
the nervous system
of the universe

so i raised the sails
and the winds carried me
o so swiftly
across turtle island
landed me in california
only to find
that once again
the pretenses under which i travelled
were false
the oracle
had spoken mistruths

and
she did not lead me wrong

for waiting for me
was none of the riches promised
in form of gold
but instead
a mass of wealth
trove of treasure
a home in which to sleep
food to eat
water to drink
and most priceless of all
but not rare
if our eyes are taught to see
and our hearts continue to lead
community
friends
healers
medicine people
with which to laugh
and sing
and cry
and listen
and speak
and learn
and heal
and teach
and share
and love

brothers
to remind me that i am welcome at the table of brotherhood
sisters
to remind me of my place at their table
too
two spirit
what a special gift
a special path

i read one page
from a little book
that fits in my pocket
every morning
there are only about 80 pages
in the Tao Te Ching
pronounced
Dow Da Ching
and some pages have little more than 4 lines
and yet
after a few years sitting in its wisdom
it begins to sprout
not in my head
as concepts
or ideals for which to reach
but deeper
deeper still
in the root of my soul
and begins to transform

this little book
that i come to each day
with my fears
of not being provided for
adequately
or fairly
or appropriately
these thoughts
that try to figure out
and control
and manipulate
the unfoldings
and the energy exchanges
of which I take part
this little book just giggles
and asks me
to name a time
i didn’t have everything i needed
and yet
somehow managed to be here still
now
alive
fully physically able
mentally able
with a full belly
and a ipad sitting on my lap
writing
and watching my sisterfriendteacher
dance
as Led Zepplin sings to her
and I
over speakers
attached to the ceiling
of the home
in which i am sitting

tell me again
my child
about that time
you didn’t have everything you needed

this little book
tells me
do the work
and then step back
results
are not for me to attach to
not for me to aim my work towards
just be here
and stop doing
to get
stop doing all together
allow the work
to pour forth
into the world
from my heart cave
through my channel
my canyon
and let it be enough
because it is so much more than enough
but if i don’t start there
with enough
how can i see
that it is so much more
?

we are entitled to the work
not the results
everyone dies
everything dies
so all the rest of it
each breath
each morning
each sunrise
each star gazed
each heartache
each tear
each laugh
each meal
each fight
each struggle
each pain
each joy
each celebration
each birth we stand in awe of
each death we fall in grief at the feet of
is extra
who are we
to say
no
not enough
give me more
more money
more food
more space
more trinkets
more jewels
more power
more
more
bigger
bigger
or i’m withholding my work
which i was sent here to do
and for which
i was given everything needed

we do not hear the call
if we do not already have everything needed
to answer it
the tools
are wrapped within
the calling

i would feel anger
at our own lack of gratitude
if i did not know
that it is not out of anything
but our own illness
to sit upon
and be surrounded by
piles of gold
and be starving
in our souls
and grasping for more
and holding
and hoarding

the blindness
is part of our sickness
the sickness
of not enough

o yes
o yes
it is enough
it is so enough
and i offer my life
my work
my heart
my soul
as freely
and generously
as i know how
because everything
has been given to me
to us
freely
and all we had to do
was show up at the feast

we are worthy
learning to receive it all
and see its all here
already
allows us to share it all
and make it true
in the physical world
that no one goes without
for when my brothers
and sisters
my sons
and daughters
my fathers
my mothers
my elders
anywhere
are hungry
i am breaking the cosmic code
that has given me all this
by returning for seconds
and thirds
and then putting leftovers
in a pot
to save for later

and
sometimes
when we release our fears
and our attachment to results
and we just do the work
with love
for a wise teacher
once told me
that work is love made visible
sometimes
when we just do that
someone walks up
and puts a bag of gold coins in our lap anyways
which just happened
as i sit here and write
no symbology there
when I sat down there was just an ipad in my lap
and now
a stack of paper
that represents an abundance of energy
sits here on my lap too
and
when that happens
and my ego is in check
and my heart is seeing clearly
i feel gratitude
and i know
that it is given to me
to share
even more
and it couldn’t be given to me until i knew that

nothing is mine
everything is ours

i am not separate
i share the illness of my people
and
i share in the cure
i take the medicine
to become the medicine
with humble gratitude
and deep
crazy
abundant
untethered
LOVE

blessings to all beings everywhere
all are welcome at the feast
what do we have to share
and give
?

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